Today is shaping up to being a difficult day. I received an email that reminded me i should be in my second trimester of pregnancy right now. Psalm 56: 8, “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” (NLT). Click here to view the post in it’s entirety. Here is an excerpt from today’s post. “Right now I should have a baby in my arms and I should be in my 15th week of pregnancy with Oakley. Some days, today being one of those, these losses feel like my goliath. They feel like something I can’t get past no matter how hard I try. On some days, I feel like I have cried so many tears that there is no way I have any left. I have cried over a loss that happened unexpectedly. I have cried over a loss that I was told would happen. I have cried because someone kindly asks the question, “do you have children.” I have cried because I feel as though my body betrayed me. I have cried from loneliness. I have cried tears of anger. I have cried tears from sheer grief. I have cried from walking into a room that was going to be a nursery. I have cried visualizing the children I will never meet while I am on Earth. I have cried, and I have had many tears fall.”
A brief exerpt from today’s post: “This past year, there have been days of absolute grief. There have been days where thinking about our loss makes it difficult to get out of bed. There have been days where I was angry at God for taking my baby away. There have been days where I was encouraged by other women going through the same day. There have been days where I felt nothing but pure joy at those few days I had with nothing but pure joy at the knowledge that I was finally pregnant.”. To read today’s post in its entirety, please click here.
Today’s post is a very difficult one for me to make. I actually spent three days writing it. This post gives some information as to how we discovered that I would lose our rainbow baby as well as some of the emotions that we felt. To read the full post, click here. One thing that helped me was a facebook group I am part of. When I made a post with my news in that group, so many women shared their experiences and shared many kind words and advice. While going through a miscarriage is a very difficult thing, and one I have experienced, this time was different. We found out that we were going to miscarry before we actually did and I do not know what I would have done without some of the women in my group reassuring me that what I was feeling was normal.
Today’s post is an update of my last post in June, our 29th month ttc. This post gives details of learning we were pregnant, some of our pregnancy, and learning we would once again miscarry. This was our second miscarriage in a year. This post is meant to help other women going through a miscarriage to know that they are not alone in what they feel as well as to help me heal and get through this loss. To view the post in it’s entirety, click here. You can also go to sharemygod.wordpress.com then to Our Journey with Infertility, Trying to Conceive Month by Month, Month 29, Month 29 Update.
Some already know this, but on July 7, 2017 we had another miscarriage. Today marks one month and my heart is so very heavy for my sweet angel. Blogging really helped me heal and work through everything I felt when we lost Riley last August so I do plan on beginning to blog again in the near future. So many others in my infertility group lost babies in July as well. I ask for prayers of peace and healing for myself, my husband, and all the other mommies and daddies without their babies today.