Today’s post details a little of where we are right now with this journey of infertility and since our last miscarriage in July. A big part of this post is about deciding to let go of a lot of the anger I have held and noticing a major difference this last month. I have started feeling hope again, something that I haven’t felt very much these last few months. Also, it is pregnancy and infant loss month. I am thankful for all of the women who have helped me along this journey thus far and I pray that all women going through a miscarriage will seek to help others going through the same difficult situations. I pray for anyone going through a miscarriage right now and always remember that you aren’t alone. Click here to view full post
Today’s post is a picture of the wall where Riley and Oakley’s names now are and how that has helped me to cope and grieve as well as how I have found a little bit of hope again this past month. Click here for the entire post or go to my blog in any internet browser, select Our Journey with Infertility, Memorial with Riley and Oakley.
Today’s post is about how after both of my miscarriages, I felt like my body betrayed me. To view the post in it’s entirety, click here or you can go to sharemygod.wordpress.com and then select menu option Our Journey with Infertility, Losing Oakley, Betrayed by My Body. A brief excerpt from the full post: “With the loss of Riley, I felt as though I was betrayed by my body and I felt straight up anger. I was angry because I felt as though I could not do a basic action that as a woman I am designed for. It took a few months of drowning in that anger before I started to realize that while my body betrayed me, this was a start. Riley gave me hope. Hope that one day I would concieve again but would have enough knowledge with what was wrong with my body to prevent another loss. My body betrayed me, but it also gave me a blessing, Riley. Those short few days filled mine and my husband’s heart with so much love. A love for someone I have not met yet, but will be reunited with one day and a baby that I think about regularly.”
Today’s post is about the newest diagnosis that we received after our loss of Oakley. This new diagnosis will hopefully be the last diagnosis and be the missing piece of our infertility puzzle. To view the post in it’s entirety, click here. You can also go to sharemygod.wordpress.com, select the menu option Our Journey with Infertility, Losing Oakley, and Post Miscarriage: Diagnosis.
Today’s post addresses the choice to name a baby after a miscarriage. It is something that people feel differently about. Personally, it brings me to peace to have my baby have a name and it is something I was encouraged by other women who had experienced loss. To view the post in it’s entirety, click here or go to sharemygod.wordpress.com , select Our Journey With Infertilty, Losing Oakley, and finally Naming Your Baby After a Miscarriage.
Today is shaping up to being a difficult day. I received an email that reminded me i should be in my second trimester of pregnancy right now. Psalm 56: 8, “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” (NLT). Click here to view the post in it’s entirety. Here is an excerpt from today’s post. “Right now I should have a baby in my arms and I should be in my 15th week of pregnancy with Oakley. Some days, today being one of those, these losses feel like my goliath. They feel like something I can’t get past no matter how hard I try. On some days, I feel like I have cried so many tears that there is no way I have any left. I have cried over a loss that happened unexpectedly. I have cried over a loss that I was told would happen. I have cried because someone kindly asks the question, “do you have children.” I have cried because I feel as though my body betrayed me. I have cried from loneliness. I have cried tears of anger. I have cried tears from sheer grief. I have cried from walking into a room that was going to be a nursery. I have cried visualizing the children I will never meet while I am on Earth. I have cried, and I have had many tears fall.”
A brief exerpt from today’s post: “This past year, there have been days of absolute grief. There have been days where thinking about our loss makes it difficult to get out of bed. There have been days where I was angry at God for taking my baby away. There have been days where I was encouraged by other women going through the same day. There have been days where I felt nothing but pure joy at those few days I had with nothing but pure joy at the knowledge that I was finally pregnant.”. To read today’s post in its entirety, please click here.